Yes, yes, I know, I post a lot of odd things from spam here… that’s because it’s more interesting than my life a lot of the time. 🙂

Anyway, here’s the rather ridiculous way that one spammer attempted to bypass filters; didn’t work, as it still got thrown in my SpamAssassin folder with a Bayesian spam probability of over 99%…

--- system information ---

wide software descriptions operation interaction distinctions We disclosures

platform platform can designing while could absence geographic
nearly fully helpful geographic lies within there submitted
[Definition: standards localized years takes maintaining behavior manner

following environments does revised guidance require use form

As nonsensical as computer jargon may sound a lot of the time, I don’t think it’s ever reached these levels…

The full text of three spams, obviously part of the same campaign, that I received earlier today:

Subject: Your interests..
From: "Asgard Q. Scarify" <byzantine@worryguts.com>

What are the washing instructions?
Men now monopolize the upper levels… depriving women of their rightful share of opportunities for incompetence.
Driving is a spectacular form of amnesia. Everything is to be discovered, everything to be obliterated.Charm is the ability to make someone think that both of you are quite wonderful.
You have enjoyed VlaCra and wish for a longer effect? GIAIis can make it happen.
Enjoy It! civilian pasting unhome semioriental eburneoid
We take greater pains to persuade others we are happy than in trying to think so ourselves.
I may have faults, but being wrong ain't one of them.
Money is the most envied, but the least enjoyed. Health is the most enjoyed, but the least envied.

(more…)

Here’s the actual text of a spam that I’ve received several times over the past several days:

We supply high quality medications by mail order at very competitive prices and provide a professional, convenient and affordable means of purchasing your prescription medicines online %RND\_AD\_2 Plus: %RND\_ALL\_OTHER\_MEDS No waiting rooms to increase your chances of getting sick. No waiting rooms. Here.. Use Microsoft Internet Explorer to view the following website: www.%RND\_HOST. Please copy and paste the URL on your browser's address field. %RND\_PHRASE %RND\_PHRASE %RND\_PHRASE %RND\_PHRASE

I wonder if they’ve realized yet why they aren’t getting any hits? 🙂

It seems that our favorite clueless spammers have fired up their bulk mailing software once again. I’ve spotted these choice pseudonyms in my mailbox in the past several days…

“Paunchiest V. Transported”
“Laudanum H. Harness”
“Spotty M. Wealthy”
“Pollinating M. Rebate”
“Cloudbursts P. Rending”
“Needful C. Canticle”
“Mortification K. Overshadowing”
“Wombat J. Jodhpurs” (I find this one particularly amusing, for some reason.)
“Phonemic L. Transit”
“Accelerate O. Pansy”
“Donning A. Praiseworthiness”

The latter two, incidentally, sent mail with the subject line of “Hey, Klely hree! I just read youre profile”. Poor girl desperately needs to hire a proofreader– especially since, as the body of the message reveals, her name is Kara…

Now the spamonyms are just getting unpronounceable; I just got spammed by one “g-ee ioeauodos” and shortly thereafter by a “geeno11 j6t1i”.

Subject: debunk

Take advantage of the LOWEST mortage rates in over 30 years!
Now is the perfect time to refinamce your existing mortnage, take
cash out for home improvements, or consoidate your dept into one
low monthly paytment.
Bed crebit? No problem! We have products for borowers with
all crebit types! (Excellent through poor.)
You have nothing to lose! No FEES, commitments, memberships
or obligations. Just competitive quotes from up to 3 lemders in
your area! Fast and easy, no initial crebit checks.

I think I may turn “bed crebit” into a new catchphrase. It sounds so much like a Yosemite Sam-style expletive…

The best SpamAssassin flag ever:

2.7 WALAA          BODY: Illiterate spammer cannot spell 'voila'

I’m not making this up. See the list of rules at http://www.spamassassin.org/tests.html if you don’t believe it…

Sometimes “spamonyms”– you know, the bizarre pseudonyms found in the “From” lines of spam e-mails?– can be strangely appropriate. How so? Well… here’s an actual bit of junk mail that ended up in my inbox tonight (with URLs removed to protect the guilty).

Subject: Zone, last longer than v1 .agra. vernacularization
From: “Nastier A. Typo” <reputedly@ilovemermaids.com>

Pleased to meet you!

Want to btoost ,Znoe , Your sexuale Preofrmance?
(more…)

Inexplicable spam subject line of the day:

parasitic flo ain’t incorrigible sixty

Huhhh? Yes, I know, I know, it’s just a random assortment of words, yet it seems oddly coherent compared to most.

The ad contained within, for the record, was for yet another herbal impotence drug…

Mrggh. Some stupid comment spammer with an affinity for the name John hit my blog last night with a salvo of comments advertising casinos and business grants. And he did it while I was asleep, thus making it so I had to manually despam the comments when I finally woke up. The good news is that, because he only advertised two URLs in his thirty-five comments (!), it was very, very easy to do a global search for those addresses and delete all of the matching comments…

Spammers, I don’t mind you trying to increase your Google rankings, but don’t do it in my personal space…