Here is the actual text of one of those stock spams that managed to slip past my spam filter. Marvel at the utter ridiculousness that comes from this spammer trying, I can only assume, to avoid spam filters. Note that I’m not trying to actually promote the stock mentioned here; in fact, if anyone actually buys stock based on a message that looks like this, I seriously pity that person.

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I just got a spam wishing me Happy New Year while trying to sell me generic impotence medications… OK, so that part’s typical of spam. But what’s interesting is that the sender claims to be named Ejfsmkuiayzkuukdqxd Ygxyim. No, really, that’s what the From line says: “Ejfsmkuiayzkuukdqxd Ygxyim.”

Seriously… are they even trying to look legitimate anymore?!

How can anybody think that an e-mail looking like this one is legitimate? HOW?!

Subject: Fw:
From: “Peter”

Hey whats up,

We 0 ffer low rates.

Fill out one application and let the aLEaNDERS compete.

The following are NO problem and will not stop you from getting the afi na=
ncing you need: *** Can’t show !ncome *** Self-Employed *** aCr edit Probl=
ems *** Recent aBank rup tcy *** Unconventional L()AN

We provide the best customer service in the industry with 24/7 support and=
a comprehensive guide for selling a home yourself.

US D $ 290 ,000 aL0 aANS are avai lable for only $255 / month=
! WE’RE aPRACT ICALLY aGIVIaNG aAWAY MOaNEY!

———————————————————–

COPY the Addreass below and paste in your WEaB BROaWSER:

Caradoc.y838x.[deleted]

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You know that spammers are starting to get desperate when they spell things in such a manner that you aren’t entirely sure what they’re talking about. “Tigera”? I guess that’s the drug that succeeded Panthera and Jaguara…

And I quote, completely verbatim except for the edited URL:

Subject: Fwd:
From: “Sonia B. Johnson, VI”

Good day sir,

We makes it easy to oer der the mee dica utions you need.

What’s Die abra really like? Ever wonder what it it feels like to take Niu agra? If you have Erei ctile diso function. then go for it.

Best stuff on Tigera only at $ 1.56/ piill, and all others too in same brackets

Try us and you will NOT BE DlSAPOlNTED!

copy the address below and paste in o your web browser:

Carthusian.brainbonus.[deleted]

for 48 hors.

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It’s time for another round of spamonyms! Who doesn’t like finding absurd entertainment in junk e-mail, after all? And, well, I realized I hadn’t made one of these sorts of posts in a while, so there was quite a backlog…

Once again, all of these names were actually found in the ‘From’ field of messages in my spam box. I only wish I were making these up…

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This next spam excerpt is from an e-mail I just received in my spam box today… that is, Saturday, October 29. In other words, two days before Halloween, which falls on a Monday. Why is this important, you ask? Well…

A Halloween must have!

Want to have the coolest Jack O’ Lantern on your block? Come see the Amazing Rainbow Pumpkin Light at [url deleted] The Amazing Rainbow Pumpkin Light, lights up your carved pumpkin in 7 superbrite colors. It’s safe, fun and will last for years. Visit [url deleted]

Enter discount code: 1031, and receive $1.00 off each light you purchase.

Orders ship same day! allow 2-3 business days for delivery.

Riiiight. So I’ll end up getting this pumpkin light… oh, what, two days after Halloween? Absolutely impeccable timing, spammers… makes me look completely organized in that regard, which is quite a tough task.

OK, these spammer names just keep getting weirder and weirder.

Tonight I had a message in my spam box from one “Altair C. Yoknapatawpha.” Selling medications, no less.

Talk about your alternate-universe Faulkner…

It may be hard to believe, but I have not altered one bit of this unsolicited e-mail I’m quoting here:

Subject: lacie
From: “earle oxford” <wesansgar@emailaccount.com>

sol

http://{%LOGWITHID:{%ROTF:E:\EveryDayDomain\all01.txt%}?{%RND:^%}={%ROT
F:E:\EveryDayDomain\CompanyTest\pharrotates.txt%}%}

later,

kenya

And to think that companies are actually paying for this— nice way to recoup your investments when the recipients can’t even get to the page…

Y’know, after I got one too many spams advertising a Canadian pharmacy “verified by BBB”, I just had to go check it out and see how truthful they were.

So, after removing all tracking information from the URL to prevent any sort of click-through revenue, I entered the address of the site. It looked fairly legitimate, and even had a number of seals at the bottom identifying affiliation with various big names in online business.

Except… well, let’s just say that something was rotten in the province of Ontario.

Upon closer inspection, every one of the links pointed to a page on the pharmacy’s own domain. Sure, they tried to hide it by hiding the address bar via JavaScript, but it wasn’t too hard to unhide it and reveal their duplicity.

And why were they hosting the BBB report on their own site, rather than linking to the BBB? A quick search at the BBB’s web site turned up the real report (compare the mailing address in that first screen shot if you have any doubt!), which points out that they’re not even a member— membership, of course, being a requirement to display the seal featured on the front page. Oops.

Oh, and also, those links in the fake report don’t work at all. So much for getting the much-needed background information.

Even worse: They claimed to be a secure site using a Verisign encryption certificate. Of course, that was also a fake certificate hosted on their site. Indeed, there was no security at all— no padlock in the corner, no HTTPS URL, nothing.

So yeah. Avoid these guys like the plague— no pun intended!

This one… well, I’m not even going to touch the URL, because it doesn’t work anyway. :-p

Subject: Application approval #06864597I Sun, 24 Jul 2005 09:33:19 -0800
From: “Rodney” <Rafael.Braun@charter.net>

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