Zone38 Presents...
Letters to the World

01-Feb-2005

Non-sequitur, anyone?

Filed under: Spam — codeman38 @ 7:35 pm

Once again, from the spam files:

Subject: The Ultimate Online Phermacy!
From: “Staint Lottie Ospital”

The actual advertising spiel in this spam was an attached image that was linked in the HTML file. Following the image was this rather incoherent paragraph, which seems to be a collection of random quotations scoured from around the ‘net:

The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind. Autumn is the time when seasons merge because of bare necessity. When love is not madness, it is not love. Begin doing what you want to do now. We are not living in eternity. We have only this moment, sparkling like a star in our hand and melting like a snowflake. The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind. Books are the shoes with which we tread the footsteps of great minds. If you ever reach total enlightenment while drinking beer, I bet it makes beer shoot out your nose. The quality of the moment is more important than the number of our days. An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools. Friends are as companions on a journey, who ought to aid each other to persevere in the road to a happier life. Touch is the most fundamental sense. A baby experiences it, all over, before he is born and long after he learns to use sight, hearing, or taste, and no human ever ceases to need it. Keep your children short on pocket money – but long on hugs. What the world really needs is more love and less paper work. Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work. Why is it drug addicts and computer afficionados are both called users? Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza. Touch is the most fundamental sense. A baby experiences it, all over, before he is born and long after he learns to use sight, hearing, or taste, and no human ever ceases to need it. Keep your children short on pocket money – but long on hugs. Hope is like a road in the country: there was never a road, but when many people walk on it, the road comes into existence. Treat everyone with politeness, even those who are rude to you. Not because they are nice, but because you are. Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer. Blessed is the man who, having nothing to say, abstains from giving us wordy evidence of the fact. I’d rather have a bottle in front of me, than a frontal lobotomy. Compassion is the antitoxin of the soul: where there is compassion even the most poisonous impulses remain relatively harmless. All love shifts and changes. I don’t know if you can be wholeheartedly in love all the time. When a friend is in trouble, don’t annoy him by asking if there is anything you can do. Think up something appropriate and do it. Always remember that I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me. Distance between two hearts is not an obstacle; rather a great reminder of just how strong true love can be. Why is it drug addicts and computer afficionados are both called users? Before I got married I had six theories about bringing up children; now I have six children and no theories. Of cheerfulness, or a good temper – the more it is spent, the more of it remains. Love is the immortal flow of energy that nourishes, extends and preserves. Its eternal goal is life. Hope is like a road in the country: there was never a road, but when many people walk on it, the road comes into existence. Touch is the most fundamental sense. A baby experiences it, all over, before he is born and long after he learns to use sight, hearing, or taste, and no human ever ceases to need it. Keep your children short on pocket money – but long on hugs. Touch is the most fundamental sense. A baby experiences it, all over, before he is born and long after he learns to use sight, hearing, or taste, and no human ever ceases to need it. Keep your children short on pocket money – but long on hugs. Life’s challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they’re supposed to help you discover who you are. Abstainer: a weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure. Everything in excess! To enjoy the flavor of life, take big bites. Moderation is for monks. A woman drove me to drink and I didn’t even have the decency to thank her. Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. All right, Brain, I don’t like you and you don’t like me — so let’s just do this and I’ll get back to killing you with beer. Autumn is the time when seasons merge because of bare necessity. Reality is an illusion that occurs due to lack of alcohol. It’s not that chocolates are a substitute for love. Love is a substitute for chocolate. Chocolate is, let’s face it, far more reliable than a man. You can’t be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline. It helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer. You can widen your life by yourself, but to deepen it you need a friend. The great thing about a computer notebook is that no matter how much you stuff into it, it doesn’t get bigger or heavier. Love is always bestowed as a gift – freely, willingly and without expectation. We don’t love to be loved; we love to love. Treat people as if they were what they ought to be, and you help them to become what they are capable of being Sometimes our light goes out but is blown into flame by another human being. Each of us owes deepest thanks to those who have rekindled this light Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning. I would like to believe when I die that I have given myself away like a tree that sows seed every spring and never counts the loss, because it is not loss, it is adding to future life. It is the tree’s way of being. Strongly rooted perhaps, but spilling out its treasure on the wind. What the world really needs is more love and less paper work. Treat everyone with politeness, even those who are rude to you. Not because they are nice, but because you are. 24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? Begin doing what you want to do now. We are not living in eternity. We have only this moment, sparkling like a star in our hand and melting like a snowflake. The best proof of love is trust. Memory is a child walking along a seashore. You never can tell what small pebble it will pick up and store away among its treasured things. Life’s challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they’re supposed to help you discover who you are. You can widen your life by yourself, but to deepen it you need a friend. True friendship comes when the silence between two people is comfortable. When love is not madness, it is not love. Who would give a law to lovers? Love is unto itself a higher law. Reality is an illusion that occurs due to lack of alcohol. I would like to believe when I die that I have given myself away like a tree that sows seed every spring and never counts the loss, because it is not loss, it is adding to future life. It is the tree’s way of being. Strongly rooted perhaps, but spilling out its treasure on the wind. The problem with some people is that when they aren’t drunk, they’re sober. All love shifts and changes. I don’t know if you can be wholeheartedly in love all the time. When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. So, let’s all get drunk and go to heaven! Of cheerfulness, or a good temper – the more it is spent, the more of it remains. What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork to my lunch? You can’t be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline. It helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer. Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. Always do sober what you said you’d do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut. You can’t be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline. It helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer. When love is not madness, it is not love. The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind. Touch is the most fundamental sense. A baby experiences it, all over, before he is born and long after he learns to use sight, hearing, or taste, and no human ever ceases to need it. Keep your children short on pocket money – but long on hugs. Touch is the most fundamental sense. A baby experiences it, all over, before he is born and long after he learns to use sight, hearing, or taste, and no human ever ceases to need it. Keep your children short on pocket money – but long on hugs. Nothing splendid has ever been achieved except by those who dared believe that something inside them was superior to circumstances. When a friend is in trouble, don’t annoy him by asking if there is anything you can do. Think up something appropriate and do it. Too often we give our children answers to remember rather than problems to solve. Distance between two hearts is not an obstacle; rather a great reminder of just how strong true love can be. Treat people as if they were what they ought to be, and you help them to become what they are capable of being. If you find a path with no obstacles, it probably doesn’t lead anywhere. When you’re in love you never really know whether your elation comes from the qualities of the one you love, or if it attributes them to her; whether the light which surrounds her like a halo comes from you, from her, or from the meeting of your sparks. Love takes off masks that we fear we cannot live without and know we cannot live within. When solving problems, dig at the roots instead of just hacking at the leaves. Who would give a law to lovers? Love is unto itself a higher law. The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind. The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands in times of challenge and controversy. Those who are willing to sacrifice essential liberties for a little order, will lose both and deserve neither. The quality of the moment is more important than the number of our days. Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer. Why is it drug addicts and computer afficionados are both called users? You can’t be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline. It helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer. Love takes off masks that we fear we cannot live without and know we cannot live within. All right, Brain, I don’t like you and you don’t like me — so let’s just do this and I’ll get back to killing you with beer. All right, Brain, I don’t like you and you don’t like me — so let’s just do this and I’ll get back to killing you with beer. The Babylon project was our last, best hope for peace. .. It failed. .. But in the year of the Shadow war it became something greater: our last, best hope .. for victory. The year is 2260, the place: Babylon 5.

1 Comment »

  1. Just remember this: Keep your children short on pocket money… but long on beer.

    Comment by Benjamin Geiger — 22-Feb-2005 @ 5:59 pm

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