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Letters to the World » Spam

Zone38 Presents...
Letters to the World


Attack of the Mad Lib Spam

Filed under: Spam — codeman38 @ 4:31 pm

This text appeared below the embedded image in a prescription drug spam. I am quoting this entirely verbatim.

The 84-aboveground-old videotape was crave in a flaky bivalve after construct little a borough decorticate to wrap the afraid bevel agile.

“The brock is avertive after thanksgiving,” touchstone spokesman principal sacrilegious-sailboat auditorium bullyboy. “He’s chieftain on his hayward and ballerina conditions convivial good.”

scam news eileen had wolcott that richards Paul familism glycerine on a raise after the chin, but puccini-legato said the elton “had no unify of deaf drawback.”

“caravan means collie, which wasn’t sweetheart chunky, nor radius massacre, nor volley psychotherapy. pollster was no nationhood,” he nashua.


The text/plain part of the message was even more absurd:

The 84-onetime-old macon was badland
in a blew goddess after mirfak turbulent a aspirin befit to chromatograph the
winnetka votary barclay.

All I have to add is that Noam Chomsky could have a field day with these.


Duck… clop… clap?!

Filed under: Spam — codeman38 @ 3:27 pm

There are so many funny things in this spam, I don’t even know where to start. Do people really fall for something that looks this… utterly fake?

Subject: top offer on nervous disorder prescriptions
From: “Lorenzo Gill” <wifnvc@sunset.net>

extraordinary prices about distress stuff

F^|.o.R*i.C'E_T 40 m^gg

3o P!lLS 99.O0
6O PI|lS 189.95
9O P!|LS 239.0O

PLease O'r.d.e,r Here : http://www.andhesaidthatduckclopclap.com

Same Day Sh|pp!ng



Monkey see, monkey spam

Filed under: Spam — codeman38 @ 10:35 am

Y’know, spam just keeps getting weirder and weirder. Here’s one I got yesterday; I’ve obscured the top-level domain of the spammer’s URL to avoid promoting their site, but everything else is verbatim:

Subject: Long time
From: “Chris Reilly” <fexxsjlb@cncou.com>

Hi conceit,

I’ve just found the perfect oil to help during those in timate nights with your sign ificant other

bushwhack http://ovate.candrugs.###/x/s10/beneath.helix sixgun

I promise, anteater exact

Tina Pagan

“Hi conceit?” “Anteater exact?” “Tina Pagan, baboon?” Come to think of it, that last one does make sense; these spams are so nonsensical that they must be written by monkeys!



Filed under: Spam — codeman38 @ 12:19 am

Two spams, which obviously are from the same source, taken from my junk mail folder tonight:

Subject: Don’t fall iinto the hype
From: “Kris Jimenez” <SOKMXDTI@yahoo.no>

Dear did,

You have been pre ap proved for a new Home 1oan at a 1ow F1xed Rat4.
This ooooffer is being ex. tended to you un condiiitionally and your creeeed1t is in no way a fact0r.

To take Advaaaantage of this opp ortun1ty

All we ask is that you vis1t at


Mitch Newman
dome bogy



Dr. Newsletter, I presume?

Filed under: Spam — codeman38 @ 4:19 pm

Note to spammers: Check that the template you’re using doesn’t try to do something clever with the sender name you spoof. Otherwise… well… you end up looking like fools.

Subject: Degrees from an Established,Prestigious College – peruvian
From: University Newsletter <graji_furn@bumi.net.id>

So far, so good. Unfortunately, they failed to realize that that name would also be substituted into the message like this:

My name is Professor University Newsletter

Here is a short message to tell you about an exciting new academic qualification program which is open to students worldwide.
Your hard work and experience is equal to valuable college credits, and if you are experienced enough we will award you with the degree that suits you the most.
If you are a qualified professional in your field. You have all the training, the knowledge and the life experience, and the only thing now you are lacking is the degree itself we can help you to gain the correct academic qualification to meet your life experience and put you in a better position in your professional career.

The degrees we award are non-accredited from an academic point of view, you will however be able to use them in your chosen career field.

For more information go to the following website
[URL deleted]

You will be able to leave all of your details so that one of our qualified registrars can call you back with a response to your evaluation.

Professor University Newsletter

If you prefer not to receive such offers please go here:
[URL deleted]


Spam gibberish of the day…

Filed under: Spam — codeman38 @ 12:29 pm

Once again, I am not making this up:

Subject: Fwd: [Hopi] 61% off Vicodin. suspenses parenthetically
From: “Zubin Alden” <jordon.jarvis@gaoland.net>
To: “Barret Tranter” <cody@zone38.net>

[attached image containing the text “Lowest online price for Vicodin / Click here”]

Machine, open soft quick. Take room hot, held like, speak.
Invent is young people, begin. Plant, spell map. Wheel meat
quite. If told product long. End, very white do. Ice baby, fine,
tube same. Better knew mind can map.

Phone: 650-947-7843
Mobile: 929-311-8860
Email: jordon.jarvis@gaoland.net

…And they expect this to convince people to buy medications? O_o



Non-sequitur, anyone?

Filed under: Spam — codeman38 @ 7:35 pm

Once again, from the spam files:

Subject: The Ultimate Online Phermacy!
From: “Staint Lottie Ospital”

The actual advertising spiel in this spam was an attached image that was linked in the HTML file. Following the image was this rather incoherent paragraph, which seems to be a collection of random quotations scoured from around the ‘net:



Very informative spam…

Filed under: Spam — codeman38 @ 3:13 pm

Once again, this is verbatim. And I don’t even have to obscure any URLs or phone numbers this time!

Subject: Banks ARE Competing over you. JIRK
From: “Rejean Annette”


Your mtg process is approved, for rates starting at the lowest fixed rate

…and yes, that was the entirety of the message body. O_o

And who does Rejean Annette think she is, anyway, calling me a JIRK like that? Heh.


Yeah, I’m really anxious for a “deoeegreee”…

Filed under: Spam — codeman38 @ 8:13 pm

From the spam files… let it be said, to quote the great Dave Barry, that I am not making this up. I’ve deleted part of the phone number to avoid promoting this, uh, establishment, but everything else is verbatim:

Subject: adgditional deoeegreee helps earn more
From: “Valarie” <Lehman895wc@yahoo.co.jp>



Stupid spammers strike again…

Filed under: Spam — codeman38 @ 5:00 pm

I realize I haven’t blogged a lot of spam recently, so here, to make up for it, is perhaps the most inept attempt at spamming I’ve ever seen. Yes, this was an actual message spotted in my e-mail…


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